On June 4th, 2020, WTS Sacramento held its first virtual Professional Development workshop. We welcomed Katie Miller, president of Left Lane Advisors, who presented on “Communication, Motives, Values and Conflicts” and how they all relate.
Katie used Zoom Breakout Rooms to let the attendees discuss as teams what their top three values are and to then explore how they feel/are triggered if one of those core values gets threatened. In understanding your own values, you can then better understand what statements or actions from others could threaten them, which can lead to conflict.
Many people do not like conflict and can feel paralyzed when faced with it. Katie walked the group through how to first, step into the situation and broaden your perspective to evaluate what the spirit of the situation is and to have a curious and growth mindset. The unfavorable outcomes of dealing with conflicts are avoidance, giving in, or being accommodating. These are all lose-win situations. During a conflict, if one can, it is good to take a pause to allow rational thinking to enter, rather than letting emotions take over. Katie calls this the “amygdala hijack” approach. When bringing up a potential conflict, Katie suggests to “set up the scene” first and explain the values that may be threatened in that situation. If both parties can be curious and open to cooperation, then a win-win solution could result. However, it is important to remember that not everyone will be as equally committed to a solution.
A few book recommendations from Katie Miller:
· “How to Say Anything to Anyone” by Shari Harley
· “Radical Candor” by Kim Scott
· “Crucial Conversations” by Al Switzier, Joseph Grenny and Ron McMillan
Thank you, Katie, for that brilliant exploratory workshop into behavior and conflict!